The Journal, Excerpt 1
by Monsters of NY
Summary: After the events of "Turtles Forever", April decides to put pen to paper as a way to reflect on the adventure's implications, beginning what would become "that" journal. Part of "Monsters of New York"


_**The following excerpt is the first entry in **__**April and Casey's journal**__**, found and read by Karai and Chaplin on September 8, 2108.**_

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Oct. 13, 2009

_Dear, diary…_ at least, that's what I'd write if I were still fifteen. Twenty-nine-year-olds don't keep diaries, I'm told; they keep journals. As if that'd make any difference.

So yeah. Dear Diary, _April writes in defiance_. Screw everyone else.

I've always wanted to keep a journal. I remember my creative writing teacher, Mrs. Isringhausen, telling me it was an excellent resource for aspiring writers, and it became one of those things that I promised myself I'd do, much like backpacking through Europe or becoming a teacher in some South American country—and like those, it's something that kept falling by the wayside.

And then I died, which has a way of putting things in perspective.

What's that, diary? How can I be writing this if I died? Well, it's not as uncommon as you'd think—it happens to a handful people every day. Very occasionally, it happens to everyone on Earth. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, I have to tell you something else about me, dear diary: after thinking about it yesterday, I've decided that I no longer believe in God.

The statement sounds strange coming from a person who's seen demons and lower-case gods, and was faithfully raised in the finest Irish Catholic tradition. And yet, all those experiences only made me realize that even if that there is an capital "g" God, he (or she, or it) is probably not at all like the one I learned about in church. In any case, God was something I didn't think about too often—which I guess makes it all the more ironic that I am one of the few people with definite answer to—with apologies to Mr. Adams—life, the universe, and everything.

It began two days ago, dear diary, at noon. Casey and I had been watching TV when we saw a news item on four turtles present during the robbery of a high-tech facility. We called the guys, obviously, and they told us that it wasn't them, and that they would handle it. We heard nothing about them until yesterday, when we saw the Technodrome cut a path of destruction through Manhattan—but I'm getting ahead of myself again. The following is all stuff we learned after the fact, once the turtles had a chance to fill us in on what happened.

As it turned out, the turtles on the news reports were not actually the guys—not really. Rather, they were the turtles from another dimension—one with its own version of the Shredder, Splinter, and apparently, me (I was told that I'm a reporter in that world, making the time I posed as one strangely apropos—the other-me even wore a jumpsuit similar to the one I wore that day). That universe's Shredder had transported himself and "his" turtles to our world, and had decided to rescue "our" Shredder—the alien one—believing that they could work together as allies. Instead, our universe's Shredder (with some help from Karai, apparently—Leo was tight-lipped about what exactly her role was, and at this point, anything's possible with her) took over his counterpart's mobile fortress (the aforementioned Technodrome, although I'm told that the original looked significantly less threatening), and proceeded to attack with an army of mutants.

However, that's pretty much normal for us—I believe the turtles call that "Saturday night". The important bit is a discovery that the Shredder (ours) made, which he then shared with the guys: our universe is nothing but one in a series of infinity of universes (which we knew), all unified by the presence of…well, turtles.

So yeah: Leo, Don, Raph and Mikey are apparently the foundation underpinning our existence. Sounds more like science fiction than any sort of theology, but there it is. If only the Pope knew…

More importantly, it appears that all universes stem from one single universe— "Turtle Prime", the Shredder called it. If it or its turtles are destroyed (I'm not entirely sure how that works—will our universe cease to exist if they die from natural causes?), the entire multiverse collapses with it—a pretty scary thought, particularly since it almost happened. After the Technodrome left our universe, we eventually saw how, little by little, our universe disappeared into white—part of the Shredder's plan to destroy all life. Eventually, it caught up to us, and I died.

Obviously I'm fine now—the whole multiverse is—but that doesn't alter the fact that for about twenty minutes (according to the turtles) I didn't exist. During this time I saw no heaven, no hell, no white light—when I "returned" I just felt as if I had awakened from a sleepless dream, a second after I'd disappeared. Which means…what?

After the turtles defeated the Shredder—they told me he's gone for good this time, although I suspect they don't really believe that either—they returned to our universe and filled us in on what happened. Now that the crisis is over and I've had time to think on it…I don't know. It seems weird to think that the universe actually revolves around the guys. I know it's not their fault, but it makes it hard for me to think of them as just "the guys".

Of course, they've had it hard too. Losing your home—again!—and figuring out how important you really are has to be hard. The guys haven't really talked about it, but I can see it eating at them, particularly Don. I hope they'll pull through—they always have.

In about twenty minutes we'll be heading out to Casey's grandmother's for a well deserved break. After that…who knows? Splinter's told me he wants to stay there for a few weeks to meditate, and it seems that Raph may stay there as well. Don will be bunking with Serling at Leatherhead's. Mikey doesn't seem to have made any plans, and will be staying at our place (joy…). As for Leo…he hasn't said anything about what his plans will be; he told me that Karai has also offered to house them, although I don't know if he's taken her on her offer. I don't know how long those arrangements will last but if they do, it'll be the first time they haven't lived under the same roof.

And us? Well, Casey doesn't seem to have let the events of the past few weeks faze him—he says that it's all to heavy for him, so it's not worth giving himself a headache for (really, sometimes, I think he's really the smartest out of all of us); he'll just continue being a husband/part time mechanic. As for me, I've got some more thinking to do. Lately I've been feeling that, Casey and the guys aside, I've been coasting ever since I got fired from Stocktronics. Now that I have a second lease at life, I intend not to waste it. I've already begun doing one of those things I've always wanted to (hello, diary!), now I just have to find out what I really want and do it.

Sincerely,

April O'Neil

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**Author's note: **_So yeah; not exactly how April writes in the comic books (this has a lot less ellipses, for one) but I think it captures her 'toon personality rather well. If you agree, disagree, or would simply like to say a "what up", please comment. _

Monsters of New York_ is the series title for a group of stories I have planned crossing over the second _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_ cartoon with _Gargoyles_. Unlike the usual crossover fanfic, part of the aim of this project is to intertwine both properties as seamlessly as possible, so that everything that happened in both series is canon.  
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**Legal Disclaimer: **_Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and related characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc., and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. No copyright infringement is intended. _**_  
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